


So a Jashinist Falls in Love with a Country

by Varmint



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Naruto
Genre: Angst and Humor, Crack Pairings, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dork Denmark (Hetalia), Hidan (Naruto) Swears, Hidan Being Himself, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, New Pairing, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Situations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2018-09-07 04:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8782081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/pseuds/Varmint
Summary: They didn't know how they'd wound up in this odd new place full of ninja. But Denmark got lost because he was an idiot and now has a white haired stalker that proclaims his love by blood sacrifices and ripping his coat open.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a picture of a psychotic Denmark and this happened. I should not be allowed to see fanart either. First music, now pictures. What else will I use for sinspiration!? (Get it? sin-spiration ?) (... I should not be left home alone either...)

"So... What you're telling us is that... What, exactly? You don't know how we got here, what we're doing here, or how we're supposed to get back?"

"That is _exactly_ what we're telling you."

The blonde country blinked at the little blonde human in a perplexed manner, then looked behind him at his brothers. The tall Swede's face was emotionless and his arms were crossed, but Denmark knew him well enough to know he was worried and just as confused as the rest of them, even though he tried to look sure of himself. Then little Finland was wringing his light blue shirt in nervousness, equally blue eyes flitting from one place to another, taking in their new and odd surroundings.

Denmark couldn't blame the little guy. Everything here was kind of odd. The writings on the few street signs he could see reminded him of Japan's own written language, but he had no idea how to read it. The shop they were inside was odd, too, because of the people inside. Most were dressed in a manner that further made him think of Japan. But some looked just... Well... _Weird_.

"But, don't worry, we should be able to find a way to get you back to your villages!" The whisker faced blonde smiled broadly, as bright as his shocking orange and blue jumpsuit.

If ever Denmark had seen a fashion monstrosity...

"You mean our countries." Norway piped up from behind Denmark, stepping forward with a steady and almost lazy glare.

Behind the orange clad blonde stood a girl with pink hair, red dress, and bright green eyes, and a boy with black hair, dark clothes, and a glare that could give even Norway's a run for its money.

"You're all from different countries?" The girl spoke up with curiosity, which made Denmark nod.

"Yup." These three were part of the ones that were dressed oddly... The other humans wore dull colors and one pieced garments. But these three were different pieces with colors that called attention to them.

"It doesn't matter, Sakura." The black haired one cut the girl off from whatever she was about to say, "We have to get back to Konoha and take these five to the Hokage."

Hokage? What was that? Sounded like some kind of food... Food would be nice right now.

Iceland was standing to Sweden and Finland's left, keeping his silence while Denmark and Norway talked to the kids that had greeted them to this new place with the same amount of confusion the Nordics felt. They were all dressed ready for another World Meeting, but something odd had happened.

They had all been standing at the doorway to the American hotel to go to the conference room when golden dust began to fall over them... And they had appeared in this odd new place.

"Then it's decided! We'll be taking these five guys back to the Hokage!" The blonde one announced, then pointed to the doorway out of the establishment they were inside of. "Let's go!"

Why they followed after the kid, Denmark did not know. All he _did_ know, though, was that he was hungry. And the moment he was able to find some food, he'd take it!

* * *

"He's lost... He's always getting himself lost..." Finland shook his head slowly as they followed after the three teens that had greeted them. "How are we supposed to find Matthias if we're leaving him?"

"Don't worry about it! Sasuke's on the job!" Naruto's voice was loud and it kind of reminded the small man of Denmark's own. But more high pitched. "We're really close to the Hokage. Just a few more meters ahead and we should be getting to Konoha. We'll get there, then Sasuke will appear with your friend! Believe it!"

Finland sighed softly in worry, but felt slightly reassured when Sweden placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

From the small town they had appeared in, the Nordics had followed the three young teens to a lush forest with a dirt path wide enough to allow them to walk shoulder to shoulder. The trees were beautiful and sturdy, lacking the characteristic weakness that Finland had grown to expect from a world touched by a human's industrial touch.

But Denmark wasn't able to appreciate the view with them. Because at some point while they walked, he had left them and would undoubtedly be lost. He was always lost, after all.

"Matthias can take care of himself." The Swede muttered with an assured nod. "He'll be fine."

There was a scoff from Norway beside them, though, and both countries turned to look at him. The man had his arms crossed and his eyes closed, but there was a slight frown pulling at his lips.

"That idiotic Dane has the self-preservation skills of a blind panda." He told them matter of factly, which made Finland giggle slightly.

"I just imagined him as a panda rolling down a hill! It's so cute!"

To Finland, it truly was an adorable and hilarious thought. Panda-Denmark gnawing on a tree branch, seated on a stump, only to sneeze and fall over and begin to roll down a hill! But, from the way the Norwegian looked at him, the Finn could tell he didn't share in the amusement.

* * *

He was lost... And he had no idea how this place worked at all... And he totally blamed Norway's magic for ruining his sense of direction all those years ago!

The blonde Dane was currently making his way down a sandy road, all kinds of buildings on either side of it, and he was looking out to see if he could find his brothers or the little kids that had found them.

Spoiler alert, he didn't.

With a sigh, the man shoved his hands into the pockets of his black coat. His right hand grazed the picture he kept in there at all times, but he didn't take it out. He should not be focusing on the past, he should focus on the present. Because if he didn't try and find his brothers now, chances were he would never be able to see them again other than in that picture.

"Lord Jashin wanted me to sacrifice the sniveling bastard!"

Huh? Lord Jashin? What was that? Some kind of king or noble or something? Did they have a royal hierarchy in this place?

"I don't give a damn what your stupid Jashin might want. We needed to hand that bounty in alive."

Denmark blinked in confusion and intrigue at the gruff voice growling at the one that had shouted about a lord. The first voice had been animated, angered, and somewhat high pitched. But this second one was extremely low and kind of scary sounding.

Time to go investigate the odd voices!

Norge had always said he had zero self-preservation skills...

Making his way over to where he had heard the voices, Denmark found himself wandering over to where he heard the voices, behind a rickety building at the very edge of the small town he now found himself in. When he looked over the corner of the building, he found two men growling at one another. One had medium length white hair that was styled back with what was undoubtedly too much gel, and he wore a ripped black and red coat that exposed the left half of his upper body. The other man wore a matching cloak but it wasn't in pieces. And he also had most of his face covered... Although he had the coolest eyes Denmark had ever seen.

"You should be less of an ingrate, you bastard!" The white haired one hissed, waving a triple bladed scythe threateningly and thrusting his face into the other's personal space. "I'm living proof that my god is real!"

"You're living proof that fanaticism is more powerful that logic!" The other one growled back, then raised his hand, placed it on the shorter man's face, and pushed him back forcefully. "Get the hell away from me and stop being a nuisance!"

Denmark flinched slightly at the force behind the man's push, seeing how the other was forced to stumble a few steps back before he could regain his balance.

Still, when the man regained his balance, he glared at the one that had pushed him. But, instead of going after him, he merely scoffed, crossed his arms, and turned away from him. "That's the answer I would expect from an uneducated heretic! There must always be _reason_!" When he finished saying this, he opened his eyes... And found Denmark looking back at him with wide eyes. "Who are you?"

"There's someone there?" The other man sounded slightly alarmed, "I felt no chakra level's close be!"

But the white haired man ignored him. Instead he glared at Denmark, took a step towards him, and raised his large (and _very scary_ , now that he got a good look at it) scythe.

It was at this point that Denmark regretted not having a single ounce of self-preservation.


	2. Chapter 2

The scythe attack came fast. But Denmark managed to materialize his large ax in time to stop the attack, forcing his whole strength into stopping the power packed swing.

And power packed it was.

Gritting his teeth, he strained his whole body to be able to fully stop the attack. And when he had, he found himself face to face with the white haired man, a broad smile on his face.

"So... You're faster than I thought you would be." He mentioned conversationally, then looked at the blade of his ax, eyes narrowing and smile turning into a confused frown. "The fuck you get that ax from? I didn't see you summon anything!"

Summon? Was magic a part of this world? Was it more easy to find than in his own? Norge would be happy!

Wait, was he seriously thinking about how at home Norway would feel in a world of magic? _Even though_ he was currently in danger because of some white haired hunk? ... Had he just called the cute guy a hunk? ... Had he just called him _cute_?

Well, the guy had a nice face. Of that much Denmark was sure. He had pretty odd eyes, red or violet... Mix of both, maybe? Maybe magenta. Still, paired with those eyes were a strong jaw and high cheekbones. His skin was somewhat pale, but that only made his interesting eyes pop out further.

Even with how dangerous the situation undoubtedly was, Denmark found a blush spreading up to his face at his thoughts. Okay, it had been some time since he had last gotten laid. He could admit that. But it was still rather weird to be noticing how attractive the man that had just attacked him truly was.

"Listen, maybe we can talk about whatever this is?" He asked nervously, eyes wide, "I don't really feel like killing anybody and just want to find my family!"

"Killing anybody?" The man's frown deepened, and his eyebrows knitted in anger, "Oh, believe me, bitch, you ain't the one that'll be doing any of the killing."

"The hell?" Denmark hissed, thoughts of how cute the man was to glare at him, "Did you just call me a bitch? Excuse _you,_ bitch! I'm not the one that'll be bending over after I wipe the floor with your sorry ass!"

For a split second, the man's face became one of shock. But that quickly ebbed away into an almost deranged smile, eyes going wide and beginning to shine with a glint that worried Denmark.

"So there actually _is_ someone here." The other man grouched as he slowly walked over to the two, who were still at a standstill with their respective weapons. "I thought that you had just finally lost whatever sanity you had left."

The white haired man turned a glare at the other man, distracting himself. And Denmark took that chance to push the man back, earning himself enough space between the two of them to be able to run away.

"Fuck! Hey! Wait a minute! Get back here!"

But, even though Denmark may not have any knowledge on how to stay _out_ of danger, he knew how to _run away_ from it. So, with his trusty ax still in hand, he took off running faster than America when there were free burgers on display for anyone to nab.

* * *

What was that idiot doing? Why was he running so fast? And where had that large weapon come from?

With a long suffered sigh, the last of the Uchiha ran so he was beside the blonde man that had managed to stray away from his team and tapped him on the shoulder.

Faster than he would have expected from someone that looked like a mere civilian, Matthias turned around and thrust his ax forward, the blade coming within an inch of Sasuke's throat before it stopped. His face was pulled into a dangerous glare, but that soon changed into a wide eyed look of shock.

"Sasuke! Thank Odin you're here!" The blonde smiled broadly at the teenagers, closing his eyes, then retracted the large weapon and leaned against it. "You wouldn't, by any chance, know how to get out of here, would you?"

The man had moved so fast... How did he move like that? Was he a ninja? A shinobi from another hidden village? He didn't look dangerous with that dopey ass smile on his face... Yet he had been able to catch _Sasuke_ by surprise.

The Uchiha glared at the blonde man, beginning to form doubts and worries about him.

Maybe this guy was really good at acting like an idiot. He and his brothers could fool anyone with this act!

Sure, it had kind of been Naruto's fault for messing with a jutsu none of them could even read, but... What if they had created that odd jutsu? What if they preyed on the innocent idiots that used it out of curiosity? What was their end game?

"Come on. Your brothers are with my team. They most probably already reached Konoha."

He stalked off after this, body tense and eyes narrowed.

He would have to keep the man close to be able to catch him make a mistake and show his true colors.

* * *

Sasuke wasn't a completely bad kid. Kind of reminded him of Iceland with his forced quiet façade. He was pretty cute, actually! He and Icey could be good friends!

Denmark wore a soft smile as he followed after the dark haired youth, thinking about what had happened.

He'd been lucky that Sasuke had come back for him. Those two odd men that had tried to kill him had seemed to have stopped chasing him after he had grabbed and thrown at least two garments from random buyers, yelling that they were going to pay for them at the merchants that tried to stop him.

He just wanted to get the hell away from here as quickly as possible to make sure that they didn't get the chance to try and kill him. He didn't really feel like killing any humans. It'd make him feel horrible.

... The guy with the white hair had been pretty handsome, though...

With a shake of his head, Denmark tried to get rid of those thoughts.

He'd tried to kill him! There was no reason to be attracted to a man that had tried to do that!

Looking around his surroundings, Denmark noticed the lush forests.

It was odd. They weren't sickly looking and were actually pretty bountiful. Maybe these humans had yet to be hit by industrialization? That must have been the only reason to have so many miles of vast forests and no pavement laid out on the dirt floor.

"So, what's the name of the place we're going?" He asked the dark kid, hoping to strike up a conversation.

But the kid didn't even look at him and grunted out, "Konoha."

Okay... Maybe this kid was even more disgruntled than Iceland. Because Emil would have at least told him, "We're going to-". Not just the name of the place.

Ah, angst and youth. It brought back so many memories of Norway and Sweden back when they were younger and actively trying kill each other.

"Interesting name." He commented. "What's the name of your leader?"

"Why don't you just stop talking?"

Denmark's smile dampened at the growl, and he scratched at the top of his head with the head of his ax, "You're not much for talking, are you?"

The kid didn't answer at all.

The blonde man sighed and shook his head, continuing to follow the angsty Sasuke.

Just his luck to be stuck with an angsty little shit...

* * *

"We're _not_ going to follow him."

"Yeah, we are."

"No, we're _not_."

"Fuck yeah we are!"

Kakuzu glared at his partner, who looked at him with a wide smile and bright eyes.

He'd never seen the Jashinist look so excited before. Well, he had. But that had only been when he was getting ready for an especially blood sacrifice. Never for anything or anyone else.

"He heard nothing important." The older man grunted, glaring at the younger.

"How do know that, fuck face?" Hidan hissed back, then shook his head. "Come on! We finished our mission early and have money to blow! Before we go back to that heretic bastard that calls himself a god, we should have some fun!"

The man was excited and Kakuzu didn't give a single damn. With a roll of his eyes the elder shook his head and began to walk away.

"Do whatever you want. Just don't waste too much money." He warned, only to have Hidan rush past him and after the blonde that had slipped away.

"Sure thing!"

The shout made Kakuzu pause and look after him. But the man was running much faster than Kakuzu had ever seen him run and was gone before he could question his words.

Hidan hadn't argued about money... He _always_ argued about money.

What was wrong with him?


	3. Chapter 3

This Sasuke kid, Denmark decided, needed a hug. More than one, though. Just one wouldn't do the trick. Neither would five or ten. He theorized that the only way to get this kid to actually try and smile was to give him at least _one thousand_ hugs.

Hugs had healing powers. But for a brat this angsty, he had a feeling that one thousand would _not_ be too many. If anything, they may even be too little!

He was extremely bored! This kid wasn't a conversationalist at all! He just glared and brooded as if nothing good had ever happened in his life... It was kind of sad, if he could tell the truth.

And he had gotten tired of playing 'Which tree reminds me of family!' a few minutes ago. They all reminded him of Sweden because they were strong, sturdy, and kind of boring looking. Although he did find a few bushes that reminded him of Finland with interesting and bright flowers along their leaves. And there had been one that reminded him of both Icey and Norge with how close they stood to one another, thin, short, yet undoubtedly strong to have survived.

"Sasuke! I'm bored!"

"Hn. Aren't you supposed to be an adult?"

The questioned had Denmark blinking over at the dark haired youth, blinking in slight confusion. "Yeah. I am. Why do you ask?"

The boy didn't even turn a glare on him, instead keeping his undoubtedly angry gaze on the path before them. "Then shut up and start acting like one."

The kid was a ball of anger and Denmark couldn't understand why. But, he knew that this kid wasn't the kind that would most probably take too kindly to physical contact. So hugging him out of the blue may just be dumber than some of the stupid things he usually did... But, then again, he had zero sense of surviving, so...

As the blonde country pondered on whether hugging the boy to try and bringing some happiness to his life was worth it or much too dangerous, their scenery began to change.

A large formation of walls appeared on the horizon, immediately catching the blonde's attention. And the closer they got, the clearer the walls' purpose was. They were a mural to protect something inside from the outside.

... Or could they be to protect the outside from the _inside_...?

No, that was stupid. There was a large ass opening in the middle of those wooden walls, clearly leading into the inside of wherever it was that Sasuke had taken him.

When they reached the large opening, Denmark found two men stepping towards them from a small hut they had to the side, one with wild black hair, bandages across his face, and a devious smirk on his face. The other had a bandanna covering the top of his dark brown hair, while some of said hair covered his right eye. They both had an odd matching symbol on the plates on their heads, much like the ones Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke wore.

What could that mean?

"So you've brought the wayward visitor, Sasuke?" The one with the wild black hair questioned with mirth clear on his features, and Denmark immediately decided that he liked this guy.

He seemed like the kind of guy that would join him on his adventures. And he so enjoyed adventures. Especially ones that had some kind of treasure at the end. Or delicious food. Or maybe a good beer... He missed beer too. And he had yet to get any food...

"You got any food here? I'm starving."

Sasuke sent a scathing glare over at Denmark's direction when he spoke up, but the country personification didn't give any damns. He was hungry, these guys looked nice, and the kid was a jerk.

Time to upgrade!

"There's a good ramen place near her, if you'd like." The dark haired man smiled at Denmark, only to receive a smack by the one with the brown hair.

"Kotetsu! We are to take these two to the Hokage as soon as possible!"

"I know Izumo! But can you deny a guy food? Food is a very important part of one's life." The one called Kotetsu fired back, jabbing an accusatory finger in the one called Izumo's chest. "You can't tell me you're going to deny him food!"

Izumo grabbed the other's finger and twisted it back, making him shout out in pain. "Kotetsu, it was a direct order from the Hokage. I am _not_ letting your stomach override your brain on this."

"B-But... Food..."

Denmark knew he sounded pitiful. But he had gotten his hopes up for food. And now they were being dashed away from him once more!

"Aw! Come on, Izumo! The guy's clearly starving! And so am I!" Kotetsu begged, eyes wide.

"No, Kotetsu!" The other growled back, shoving the other man back.

But in that moment of a shove, instead of Kotetsu reacting like Denmark reacted (with a shout of pain and another beg), he smiled broadly, eyes shining dangerously.

"Run, blonde man!" He shouted suddenly, running over to Denmark to grab him by his arm. "We're going to go and get some food!"

And before Izumo or Sasuke could truly react, Denmark found himself being pulled along by Kotetsu, racing down the streets of this odd new place with many vibrant buildings. But, quite frankly, he didn't mind being mandhandled. It meant food, after all. And food was good. He liked food.

* * *

"Damn it! I caught up to them too fucking late!"

The white haired Jashinist slammed his fist against the trunk of the tree that held the branch he stood on, glaring in the direction of Konoha.

The spitfire of a blonde that had managed to stop his attacks and engage in some cuss trading was inside of the one village the Akatsuki's leader insisted none of them but Itachi should enter.

But he stayed to watch the interaction between the blonde and the gate guards, praying to his Lord Jashin that the blonde would be turned around so he could swoop in on him and grab him.

Oh, the things he'd do to the blonde man... He was beautiful! And even though he hadn't been all that interesting when Hidan had first seen him, he had _become interesting_ when he materialized a large as all fuck scythe out of nowhere and deflected his attack.

And the sudden attraction Hidan felt for the man was only amplified when he actually talked back to him with a cuss of his own.

How he loved being yelled and sworn at. He _was_ a masochistic sadist, after all. And he believed that part of the thrill in any kind of sexual relationship came from the chase. The other came from dominating in the bedroom. But he would have to wait for that part of their activities. He would first have to catch the delectable blonde. Then he'd be able to show him the greatness of his Lord Jashin.

"Come on... Turn him away... Please, Lord Jashin..."

But the guards weren't turning him away. Instead, they got into some fucking ridiculous argument about something stupid or another. Hidan wasn't sure because he wasn't close to listen in on them. But he didn't give a fuck because it most probably was about which one was gayer.

"Fucking infidels... Just do what I want you to- Holy fuck! Who in the fucking hell does he think is to touch _my blonde?!_ "

The one with the dopey ass hair had grabbed onto his blonde and run away with him. The bastard had touched _his blonde_.

There would be blood pouring tonight... He didn't care what Itachi or the leader might want... That blonde's ass was his to tap. And _nobody_ was allowed to touch it.

But... How to get inside Konoha without getting caught?

He wasn't sure... _Yet._

But once he figured it out, he'd go straight to his blonde and steal him away.

His Lord was great, after all. And he knew Lord Jashin would give him this blessing. This one appealing boy toy to do whatever he pleased to do with. And the blonde would love every second of it.


	4. Chapter 4

"Your tastiest, meatiest bowl of Ramen, please!"

"Kotetsu? Aren't you supposed to be on guard duty?"

"I'm slotted to get off in ten minutes, old man! And I'm starving!"

Denmark couldn't help the large smile on his face as both he and Kotetsu were scrutinized by the ramen cook inside of the small eatery.

Kotetsu was a funny man that seemed to be the right amount of crazy for him. Hyper, hungry, and awesome. That was all Denmark could truly ask for after having been stuck with an emo kid like Sasuke.

"Please, sir! I'm starving!"

The man looked at Denmark with a quizzical frown, then sighed and nodded. "But if you kids get in trouble with the Hokage, it's _your_ heads. Not mine."

Then he turned around and began to cook, which prompted both Denmark and Kotetsu to sit down with conspiratory chuckles.

"You can run pretty fast for a civilian." The man noted, which made Denark shrug.

"After the life I've lived, you learn how to run as fast as possible." Then he raised his hand to scratch at the back of his head, "Especially when you're brothers love to brandish weapons when they're pissed off."

Norway could be _terrifying_ when he was angry.

But Denmark found an odd sense of fulfillment whenever he managed to make the Norwegian's calm façade slip away and be replaced by nothing but pure rage.

It was even funnier when he managed to do it to Sweden.

And Germany and Britain too.

Although he'd learned the hard way that he shouldn't be pissing all four of them off at the _same time_.

Separately was fine.

Together was a death sentence.

"Your brothers are all pretty boring looking." Kotetsu continued after a small fit of chuckles, which had Denmark nodding.

"They _are_ pretty boring... Until you bring alcohol into the mix."

"Oh?" Kotetsu quirked an eyebrow, which had the blonde nodding wildly.

"Alcohol is an amazing thing, you know." The blonde commented, then gasped when the smell of what the old man was cooking hit his nose. "That smells delicious!"

"It _is_ delicious!"

"Shit, I can't wait to eat!"

But as he jumped excitedly in his chair, Denmark couldn't help but feel an ominous presence behind him.

"I can't help but feel that I've felt this feeling before..." The blonde commented softly, his excitement cooling down as he began to think on what he was feeling. Kotetsu looked at him in confusion, but didn't interrupt him. "This odd feeling of odd... The kind that usually ends up with me breathless and... Holy fuck! Norge!"

Right as he was about to jump and hug his brother, a hand lashed out and grabbed him by the black tie around his shirt's collar, tightening it around his neck and forcefully choking him.

Eyes going wide as the breath left his body, Denmark managed to turn with a broad smile at the blonde that was choking him. Kotetsu, in the meantime, jumped with a shout of dismay and worry, immediately moving to pry the smaller male's hands away from his tie.

"You stupid Dane! What the hell were you thinking? How could you eat at a time like _this_?" The angered Norwegian glared heatedly at Denmark, but the blonde merely smiled broadly.

"N-Norge!"

"Hey! Let go of him! You can't choke a guy just because he was hungry!"

Norway's glare turned from Denmark over to Kotetsu, becoming even more angered as the human tried to get his hands off of Denmark's tie. "Just who do you think you are to get in the way of my peaceful discussion with my brother?"

"Peaceful!? You and I have _very_ different definitions for the word!" The human, upon noticing that he couldn't really force Norway's hands off of the tie, finally let go. But instead of giving up, he merely stuck his hands into the pouch strapped to his leg, pulled out a rather sharp looking weapon, and slashed through the fabric, severing the piece around Denmark's neck from the rest of its body.

Taking in a large gulp of breath, the Dane couldn't help but throw himself on Norway, even as he struggled to regain his breath.

"You're alive! By Odin, Lukas, I thought I would never see you again!"

But instead of being hugged back, Denmark was pushed away from the smaller male, then received a harsh slap to the face.

"You are an idiot." The Norwegian hissed, "And you are to stay within either mine or Sweden's supervision for the rest of the time we are here."

Reeling from the slap, the blonde soothed the sting on his cheek. But when he heard the last bit, he glanced at the younger male with confusion. "Huh? Supervision? But I'm not some little kid!"

The deadpan with which Norway answered let the blonde know that he was in no mood for him. "When you stop acting like one, we'll stop treating you like one."

Kotetsu, while they interacted, looked from one male to the other in complete disbelief. Then, once he finally couldn't stand it anymore, he made himself be remembered.

"What the fucking hell?! You just tried to kill your _brother_?!"

Norway turned his disinterested gaze on the human and answered, simply, "This is normal. There is no need to question what we do."

"What _the hell_?!"

Denmark straightened himself up and threw an arm over the human's shoulders, bringing him to his side. The human was a few inches shorter than him, making it comfortable to do this to him.

"Kotetsu, chill, man." Denmark smiled down at him. "We're an odd family. Right, Lukas?"

"You're an idiot."

"Right! You see, Kotetsu? Family!"

The human blinked up at him before shaking his head softly. "You are an odd one, blonde guy. But I like that." Then he glanced over back at the ramen shop, a broad smile making its way back onto his face. "Food, Teuchi?"

"Get to eating, Hagane. Something tells me you just managed to get someone in trouble."

"Oh! Come on, old man!"

The man chuckled as he set two steaming bowls of ramen down on the counter, which immediately made Denmark jump and throw himself at one of them. Then, with a bit of difficulty because he wasn't too accustomed to using chopsticks, began to gorge himself on the food.

He was pretty much dying of hunger at this point. Which made it okay to completely forget whatever table manners he may have possessed.

* * *

As he had eaten, Sasuke had appeared and spoken a bit with Norway. But they'd said very little and rather quietly, ensuring that neither he nor Kotetsu could hear. Then, after he had finished eating, Kotetsu escorted him, Norway, and Sasuke all the way to a giant red building that supposedly held the rest of his brothers.

When he'd asked Norway why he had been the only one to come and confront him, the blonde had just ignored him. So Denmark had brushed off the question and continued chattering with Kotetsu, who seemed more than happy to have someone to talk to.

But that happiness was kind of short lived because when they got to the building, a wild Izumo appeared out of nowhere and smacked Kotetsu harshly on the head.

"You left me even though you were supposed to be on gate duty! Do you have any idea how pissed the Hokage was that I let you go?! And especially that you left with the _one person_ she wanted to meet immediately!?"

"OW!" Kotetsu whined as he rubbed at the spot that Izumo had smacked, "Why are you so mean, Zumo?"

Snickering at their antics, Denmark couldn't help but rub at Kotetsu's head to help him out, "There, there, Kotetsu. You will survive this. I promise!"

"At least I have an ally in the blonde guy..."

"The blonde guy has a name, you know." Norway growled softly as he crossed his arms, which made Kotetsu blink at him dumbly.

"Yeah? What is it? In the commotion of having fun, I kind of forgot to get it."

"My name's Matthias!"

The blonde smiled broadly. But it seemed that shouting his name out was the wrong thing to do. For if Norway was angry when he grabbed at him, then the rest of his brothers were livid.

"Matthias! What do you think you were doing!?"

From the front of the building appeared the rest of his brothers, all of them looking rather angry and disbelieving of what he had done. And upon noticing how utterly murderous Sweden looked, Denmark began to get worried.

"I was hungry and wanted food?"

"We were worried about you! How stupid must you be to separate from us in a place we don't know?!" Finland was the angriest out of all of them. Which made sense, really, because he was the mother hen out of all of them. "Do you have any idea how we worried we were for you?!"

"Uh..." With a scratch to the back of his head, Denmark took a shot in the dark. "Very?"

From the way Finland launched himself at him, it was the wrong answer.

* * *

Boring big words. Political jargon. Norway debating whether Denmark was mentally disabled or not. Sweden 'hn'ing' in agreement. Iceland merely nodding along. Finland actually being nice and seeing he was just special. Blonde woman with amazing rack using further big words and arguing about something or another. Little kids looking from said blonde woman with amazing rack to him and his brothers and back. White haired guy with a perpetual disinterested look on his face seeming to ignore everyone. And... Oh, wait a second. They were looking at him now.

"What?"

Norway glared at him for being an idiot. But the woman merely looked at him with interest.

"Sasuke said you were running when he found you. And that you had a weapon in your hand."

"Huh? Oh, yeah!" Denmark smiled broadly, then produced his ax to show it off. "I call her Choppy! She's a beauty, ain't she?"

Everyone in the room flinched as he pulled out his beautiful ax, but the Dane didn't really seem to notice. Instead he kept his broad smile on his face and his gaze on the woman.

"That is interesting." The woman commented slowly, then asked, "But I wish to know what you were running from?"

The question made the image of the handsome man with the three bladed scythe and interesting personality pop into the front of the blonde's mind, then he said, "Oh, I was running away from this guy that wanted to kill me." With a shrug.

"Kill you?"

"You already managed to make an enemy?"

"Why was he trying to kill you?"

"Who was he?"

"What did he look like?"

The Dane was bombarded by questions. And he struggled to think of an answer for them. But with the last one, he couldn't help the blush that came to his cheeks.

The man was pretty handsome.

It was a shame he had tried to kill him.

"He was interesting looking." He answered slowly, "Like Gilbert."

His brothers all nodded in understanding immediately, then Norway turned to the blonde woman to explain who Gilbert was and how he looked like.

Then the attention was taken away from him once more, which left the Dane thinking about the handsome stranger with the foul mouth that had tried to kill him.

Really, it was a pity that he had tried to kill Denmark. Because he had been pretty hot.


	5. Chapter 5

"So... The guy that tried to kill you... How'd you stop him?"

Denmark glanced down at the little blonde boy that reminded him so much of himself with a small shrug.

"Choppy and I stopped him good, kid."

The blonde kid was walking in front of him, the blonde woman with the nice rack in front of _him_ , the rest of his brothers behind him, and the last two kids along with the white haired man were behind them.

Denmark felt somewhat insulted that he was being watched by seven different people from behind. They were in a closed hallway inside of a giant mansion, for Odin's sake! He couldn't pull a disappearing act even if he had wanted to!

"You mean your ax?" Naruto questioned, to which Denmark nodded. "Where do you even hide that? Scrolls? And don't you have to cut yourself when you summon it?"

"Naruto, stop pestering Matthias." The blonde with the nice rack growled at the blonde, stopping in front of a door. "Because you have a history of running away and being a danger to yourself, there will be guards placed at your door and on the roof to make sure you can't sneak out." The woman explained as she opened the door, then motioned for him to step inside. "And as extra security, I will have a guard check in on you every hour you're here to make sure you haven't somehow managed to hurt yourself."

"I feel insulted!"

A sharp slap to the back of his head had Matthias cowering away from Luka's stinging hands and into the room. "Why are you so _mean_?!"

"Why are you so _retarded_?" The Norwegian answered, then stepped into the room behind him.

Denmark marveled at the adequately sized room. It looked like something Japan would have offered them to stay in for a World Meeting in his home. The walls were a pale cream, with large screen doors at the opposite side of the room's opening and Denmark could see small balcony peeking from the outside. There was a dresser to the side, along with a bed and a nightstand. And there was a desk with a chair vacant that could be used for writing.

"You are taller than most of my populace, so we will need to make you some clothes so you are not stuck wearing the same thing. Those will take Shizune and the seamstresses a few hours but should be here by morning." The woman continued to explain, but Denmark stopped listening.

He moved into the room, produced Choppy and rested it along the wall near the bed, then moved towards the screen doors. But right as his hand was about to touch with the screens to move them, it was snatched into a gloved hand.

"You weren't kidding, Lady Tsunade. This one's dangerous."

It was the man with the headband-like eyepatch. He wasn't even looking at Denmark, his eye was too busy looking over the book held in his other hand. But the grip on Denmark's wrist was strong and irked the blonde nation.

"Hey! Let go of me!" Denmark growled at the slightly shorter man, only to be ignored by him.

"Matthias, you're not supposed to be going out into the balcony. We still do not know how you or your family wound up in our world and we believe that it would be for the best to keep you close until we know." The woman explained from behind him, which managed to make Denmark frown.

"But I want to see this place!"

"Matthias, you are acting like a child."

"Because I'm being treated like one. If you treated me like the responsible adult I am, I wouldn't have to act like a child."

He glared at the silver haired man as Norway began to answer him. But he merely ignored his brother's retort (which most probably was another insult on who he was, so he really wasn't missing out on anything) and tugged at his still confined wrist.

"Come on! It's just a peek! What do you guys think I'll do? Jump off the balcony and run away?" He whined softly, but the man holding him did not lessen his grip.

"You have done so before, dumbass." Iceland reminded him coldly, which made the blonde nation turn to him with pain clear on his features.

"That was _once_ and it was to get away from Alfred and Gilbert! They wanted Arthur to use his special skills on me and I didn't want to!"

But all four of his brothers leveled him with unamused looks, which made him pout and turn away from them. But he still kept tugging at his still captured wrist, hoping to be able to walk out and see the balcony attached to his room.

"He really _is_ a danger to himself." He heard Sakura breathe out in complete astonishment, which managed to make his frown deepen.

He wasn't _that_ dangerous! He just wanted to get to see this place! And because he had not been allowed to see more than a few buildings and shops before Sasuke and Norway had dragged him here, he believed he had a right to be allowed to see more.

"You know that I'm not going to let go until you stop trying, right?" The silver haired man pointed out in an almost bored tone, even though his eye remained on his little book.

"You know that I won't stop trying until I'm able to see your damn village, right?"

"Matthias, please don't cause these people any more trouble." Finland's voice was filled with pleading, which made Denmark immediately feel bad and sag his shoulders.

"But I hate being cooped up..."

"We will also need to take him on regular walks. And maybe get him to exercise a little." Norway told the blonde woman, sounding as if he had been listing off other things. But Denmark had ignored his voice so he hadn't heard much. "Matthias is like a destructive puppy, you see."

"I..." Denmark wanted to say that he _wasn't_ , but then he thought about everything he had done with his life and offered a small smile. "Can't disagree with you there, Norge."

The shorter man merely leveled him with a glare before turning back to the blonde woman. "As you see, Lady Tsunade, I do not exaggerate. He truly is as stupid as I told you."

Norway was being rather mean. Denmark guessed it was because he was hungry too. The younger man usually got extremely cranky when he hadn't eaten anything in a while.

"Don't worry about that. We'll be sure to keep your brother safe." The woman told Norway with a soft frown, "Kakashi, you and your team are to keep him company until night falls. Go out with him. I don't want to risk him using _Choppy,_ " The woman stressed the name, turning her glare onto his beautiful, amazing ax, "and destroying this room."

"Understood, Lady Tsunade." The man nodded once, even though his eye never left his book and his hand didn't let go of Denmark's wrist. "You can take the other, less annoying, people to their own rooms."

The woman nodded once at him and walked out, leaving Denmark in the room with the silver haired man and the kids they had met when they first got here. His hand was still caught by the bastard, and the Dane couldn't help but feel rather annoyed with him.

"Come on... It's just _one_ peek."

"No."

"Please?"

The man sighed and shook his head, "I'm getting to end of my page and will need to turn it. But as long as you keep this idea in your mind, I will not be able to. Which will make me become a not rather happy man."

Denmark looked him over for a second, then smiled broadly. "Good. That'll make us _both_ not rather happy men."

The visible gray eye closed for a moment before the man breathed out heavily, "Okay. We'll head out now. Sasuke, you're in charge of him. Make sure he doesn't stray too far."

"Why can't Naruto or Sakura do that?"

"Because they're likely to let him be stupid just to go off on an adventure with him. You're the only one I trust with this, Sasuke."

* * *

"Let's go over there!"

"Yeah! Let's go see those weapons!"

"Naruto! You're supposed to be making sure he doesn't run away! Not go with him!"

"I'm sorry, Sakura... It's just that those kunai look really good..."

"Ooh! Let's buy some sweets! Any of you got any money?"

"Sweets? I prefer ramen."

"Shut up, idiot. Don't give him any ideas!"

"Right, ramen! Let's go to that guy with the good ramen! That shit was delicious!"

Sasuke sighed heavily and seemed just about ready to smack himself. Sakura, on the other hand, looked like she was about to smack Naruto. Naruto, on the other hand, was beaming proudly and pointing in the direction of the delicious ramen place. And the silver haired bastard was silently following behind them, eye still focused on his book.

Denmark had half a mind to try and steal that book from him. But from what he could see on the front page, it was written in a language he could not read.

... That had never stopped him before, though...

"It's nearing dinner time. It wouldn't hurt to go ahead and buy some food, Sasuke."

"Yahoo! If the bastard agrees, it means I'm right!"

"Ha! Kakashi Sensei, he called you a bastard!"

"Thank you for making that clear, Naruto." The man deadpanned, which managed to make Denmark smile broadly.

"Forget him, blondie! Take me to the wonderful ramen place!"

Naruto then grabbed the other blonde by his hand and ran off with him in tow. And for the second time that day, Denmark didn't mind being manhandled because of the promise of food at the end of the journey.

When they got to the ramen place, both blondes sat down and ordered enthusiastically. And when their food got to them, they ate as if there was no tomorrow.

But Denmark, for some insane reason, felt as if someone was watching him the whole time he ate. Which was really considering that the silver haired bastard, Sakura, and Sasuke were all eating as well. And the people bustling around behind him were too busy with their own lives to stop and stare at him.

Still... He couldn't shake the odd feeling off.


	6. Chapter 6

Hidan knew that it was only a matter of time before his blonde was left alone.

He had managed to sneak into the village without being caught. And after he had finally been able to track the beautiful being down, he had not lost sight of him for even a second.

He'd be damned if his incompetence made him lost sight of what was most important.

The blonde could eat like a monster. Seriously, how was he able to eat so much? And then have space left to ask for a beer?

He was Hidan's type of guy. Crass, hot, and alcohol loving. The best kind of guy around.

The Jashinist made sure that his chakra signature was suppressed so none of the ninja around him could tell how truly dangerous he was. And with the cloak he had stolen off of that one bum, one that covered up his head and cast a shadow over him, he made sure that no one might be able to recognize him.

He had never been good at using transformation jutsu. So he'd be an idiot if he tried to use one to be able to get close to the guy. But by covering up his head and casting a shadow over his eyes, he was able to kind of make sure no one might see his hair and see who he truly was. Because, really, the last thing he needed was for someone to recognize him and try to chase him out of the village.

He didn't feel like killing anybody just yet. He was much too busy trying to get to the love of his life to concentrate on making proper rituals for his awesome Lord.

The man was being kept in the Hokage Compound. A place that was teeming with guards and shinobi loyal to Konoha.

It would be insane for anyone that wasn't a privileged shinobi to try and enter it.

It was a good thing Hidan was insane!

He'd find a way to get to his blonde. He had seen where he was being kept, in a room to the side of the compound on the third floor. And he could see that guards came around every so often, but weren't there at all times.

It was finally time to get his prize.

* * *

"So... What you're telling me is that the guards that were supposed to be placed all around my room can't get here?"

"That is exactly what I'm telling you."

"But... Why are you still here?"

The silver haired bastard seemed about an inch away from smacking him. And Denmark chalked this up as a victory because the man had tried to maintain a cool composure throughout all of their interactions. But he was finally chipping away at his resolve! This was even funner than messing with Sweden!

"Because I have been assigned to keep you company until there are ninja available to babysit you." The man sighed, running a hand over his hair as he closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall farthest from Denmark.

The blonde man was currently seated on the only in the room bed with a large, shit eating grin in place. Even though he didn't like the fact that he was being treated like some dangerous person, he could understand the need to keep him under watch at all times. He kind of had no self of self preservation. So he got into all kinds of trouble without thinking about it at all.

"Wanna grab me a soda?"

The silver haired bastard frowned at him, but soon sighed and pushed off of the wall. "If you promise to not try and escape."

"Scout's honor!" The blonde immediately smiled back, raising his hand to show the salute he had seen America use many times whenever he got in trouble with England.

"I'm not even going to ask what that means..." The bastard murmured as he walked towards the door and opened it, then left the room.

As soon as he was gone, Denmark whooped and jumped up on the bed. Then he began to jump, bored and hyper. He needed constant stimulation. And if he broke something, the blonde with the amazing rack wouldn't be able to say anything about it because he hadn't used Choppy to do it. He'd merely used his body to break all those things. So he hadn't done anything she said he couldn't do.

The minutes after Kakashi left were used by Denmark to jump on the bed, jump off and roll on the floor, then run around. He had too much energy inside of him! He needed to get it out somehow!

But as he was about to jump over the bed as part of the fourth lap around the room, Denmark saw something that made him gasp and stop. Unfortunately, he didn't calculate what he was doing too well and ended up hitting both legs against the bed, toppling over, and rolling over the bed until he crashed onto the floor on the other side of the damned piece of furniture.

"Ow..." He groaned as he lay flat on his back, legs thrown over his body like a fucking scorpion... He really hoped nobody had recorded this...

"Holy fuck, that was amazing!"

The cackling laugh that Denmark heard was unlike anything he had ever heard before. But, at the same time, he kind of recognized the voice. Which was weird, considering how there wasn't supposed to be anyone aside from himself in this room. Apart from Kakashi. But the silver haired bastard wouldn't sound like that. He was much too boring to laugh this much.

Glancing up from his legs, still in his rather uncomfortable position, Denmark found the person that was laughing at him.

And his blood immediately ran cold.

"Fuck!" He screamed, immediately scrambling up to crawl over the bed and grab at his ax.

It was the scythe wielding lunatic that had tried to kill him! He was in his room, cackling like a madman at Denmark's great blunder. The white haired man was doubled over in laughter, eyes closed as he threw the hood off of his head to allow his extremely striking features to be seen.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He questioned as soon as his eyes opened, only to find Denmark scrabbling to try and grab the ax too far from the bed for his damned fingers to reach and why the hell had he left it so far?!

The blonde felt a hand wrap around his ankle and squeaked in a rather undignified manner, then his body was pulled back and towards the man. And with wide eyes he looked at the smirking man as he leaned over his body, resting his hands on either side of his face.

The Dane's chest heaved as he stared like a deer caught in headlights and his mind raced at a thousand miles per second.

What could he do? Choppy was far, he had no idea how long Kakashi would take to bring his drink, and he had no idea if he'd be taken seriously if he began to scream for help.

"I finally got you."

The white haired man licked his lips in an almost predatory manner, which made Denmark blush softly.

From thoughts of how to get away, his mind was now supplying thoughts about what he could do with that tongue.

... He had told Norway he needed to get laid before they went to that next World Meeting... Now his usually high sex drive was making him think things he wasn't supposed to think for a guy that had tried to kill him!

"You know, you're a very interesting guy." The man's right hand moved so it was resting on Denmark's cheek, seemingly cuddling him. "I'd like to know your name before I fuck you senseless."

The hand on his cheek was warm and felt kind of nice... Wait a minute.

Blinking softly, Denmark processed what the man had said. And immediately, he bristled.

"Excuse you?!" He hissed, raising his hand to smack the one on his face away. " _Nobody_ will be fucking me! If anything, I'll fuck _you_!"

Afraid of death or not, Denmark did _not_ bottom for some random stranger. He didn't even care if he was about to be raped! He refused to allow this bastard to say he'd fuck him.

"I have standards!"

The blonde tried to move his legs but found they were caught against the white haired man's own. And with a glare at him, he pulled his arms up and pushed at him. The man didn't budge much. Just moved enough for the Dane to sit up and glare at him in a more comfortable and less leering manner.

"Standards?" The man repeated with amusement clear in his face and words.

"Yeah. Standards." Denmark nodded, crossing his arms. "I don't put out for some guy who's name I don't even know."

All fear had drained away from his body. What did he have to fear, really? The guy clearly had sex on his mind. And if Denmark was able to distract him for long enough, then he'd be able to grab his ax and bust his head.

"Hidan."

"Huh?"

"Hidan." The man repeated, then raised his hand to cusp Denmark's jaw. "The name you'll be screaming out when I screw you into the bed? It's Hidan."

Denmark glared at him, but didn't slap the hand away. It felt good to be touched like that again. Even if it was from some psychopath that wanted to fuck him. He kind of missed being touched like that.

"Will you tell me yours now?" Hidan leaned down to whisper against Denmark's ear, flicking his tongue out to lap at the spot right beneath his ear.

The blonde Dane shuddered at the action, but soon crossed his arms and huffed. Still, with that tongue lapping at his neck like that... Denmark could feel his resolve slipping... "You can call me Matthias."

... Okay... He knew this was wrong. If Sweden or Norway saw this, they'd immediately scold him. But he hadn't felt any kind of loving in too long now and this guy wasn't too bad looking. He was pretty handsome, had a pretty decent body, and had just the right amount of dominance in him to make Denmark actually submit.

He kind of reminded Denmark of _him_ back when they were still together. Back when _he_ had satisfied him sexually.

"Matthias... Odd name." The man murmured against his neck, biting softly. "Now, why don't we get-"

The man had begun to move Denmark back as he spoke. And Denmark allowed his body to go because, seriously, fuck not having sex. He wasn't some kind of nun or clergy dude. He needed sexual release and this guy seemed to want to give it to him. And what was a one night-stand with some guy that had tried to kill him? Denmark had done worse before. This was actually pretty tame compared to his other, more regrettable, sexual contests.

But right when he was about to nip at Denmark's neck with the last word, the door to the room slammed open.

And as soon as it had, Denmark groaned and glared at the silver haired bastard that had decided to interrupt him.

Seriously?! Couldn't he have appeared a few seconds earlier?! Like, back when Denmark had actually _not_ wanted to get laid!?

"Akatsuki." Kakashi hissed, all the while Hidan groaned and looked up.

"Get the fuck outta here. Can't you see I was fucking busy, you shit faced bastard?"

Denmark couldn't help the small smirk that came to his face at the insults directed at him. He agreed, kind of. Kakashi _was_ a shit faced bastard.

"Matthias, are you okay?"

The blonde felt like replying cheekily. 'I was until you came in'. But Hidan answered for him.

"He was going to be until you interrupted. Now, why don't you just turn the fuck around and-"

But Kakashi threw a flurry of the weapon Kotetsu had used to save him from his own tie towards the man, causing him to have to jump away from Denmark to not get hit.

Upon his warmth leaving him, Denmark felt extreme cold take over him.

"I'll be back for you, Matthias!" Hidan shouted as he moved towards the open screen he had come in through, "And I'll fuck you good when I come back!"

Regrettably, he was gone after that. And Denmark was left sexually frustrated with Kakashi in the room.

The bastard had even forgotten his soda.


	7. Chapter 7

"You guys are overreacting."

Denmark really couldn't understand why his brothers were foaming at the mouth and yelling at the busty blonde for his supposed lack of protection. It wasn't as if he had gotten what he'd wanted and ended up with the guy naked in his bed. The dumbass named Kakashi had made sure that he remained sexually frustrated for longer than he would have wished.

"We are _not_!" Norway suddenly appeared behind him to smack the back of his head harshly, making the taller blonde hiss in pain and duck away from him. "You almost got raped, buffoon!"

"It's not rape if I wanted it to happen!" He shouted back, then gasped when Norway's glare became even more impassioned and ran away so he was hiding behind the silver haired bastard, whom was just reading his book.

"How could you say that?" Finland gasped out in pure horror, eyes wide as he looked at the country cowering behind the human.

The fear and worry clear in Finland's face made Denmark feel slightly bad. But then he looked back at the seething Norway, stuck his tongue out, and replied in a rather immature manner. "I _need_ to get laid!"

He had not minded the idea of that guy taking what he wanted. He kind of needed some type of release if he didn't want to end up going insane. And, yeah, he knew it wasn't the smartest idea. But when someone was as needy as him while surrounded with so many idiots... Well, Denmark believed he was well within his rights to believe that Hidan fucking him wasn't such a bad idea.

"Is that all you have in your mind?" Iceland sighed with a shake of his head, which made Denmark smile sheepishly.

"Would you hurt me if I said yes?"

Norway glared at him for a second longer before scoffing and turning back to the blonde woman. "What will you do to ensure his safety? He clearly has someone set on hurting him."

"I wouldn't really call 'hurting'..." Denmark murmured to himself, even though everyone else in the room ignored him.

He was used to being ignored, after all. So while the boring people continued to overreact over something that really wasn't all that bad- because, seriously, what was a one-night stand? What was so bad about him finally getting laid?- Denmark decided to entertain himself.

The man he was hiding behind was still too busy reading his little book to pay any attention to him. And the rest of the people in the building were rather occupied freaking out and making mountains out of mole hills... So Denmark decided that he was going to get laid, no matter what the people were telling him.

Sure, the man had tried to kill him at some point. So had one of his greatest lovers. Violence and sex went hand in hand for a person like him. Even though he enjoyed slow and passionate loving, he also kind of _needed_ that dark kind of sex that could only be found through the violent domination of another human being. If he was dominating, it was exhilarating. If he was _being dominated_ , and that proved to be more than many bargained for so he barely ended up bottoming, was fucking amazing!

He slipped out of the woman's office as quietly and inconspicuously as he could. And once he was outside the door, he took off running at his top speed. There were only a handful of workers around, and when he came across them, he just told them he was getting something from his room and they left him alone.

In this manner, he managed to reach the world outside of this building and faced a starry night sky.

It was all rather poetic, really. If one were being all emotional about it, one could say that they were just star-crossed lovers trying their best to get to each other. And if one wanted to make Denmark seem like a girly man, then he'd be commended for being such a hopeless romantic... But he wasn't a romantic and just wanted a lay, so there was nothing all that romantic about the whole situation.

Hidan had jumped out of his window rather fast, even though he had promised to come back eventually. But... Well... Hmm... Maybe he could find somebody else willing to give him what he wanted...

The man had seemed somewhat crazy and obsessed. But he was nowhere to be found anymore and Denmark was getting kind of desperate because of his brothers being so annoying.

"Well, there must be some kind of bar or something around here..." The blonde commented to himself, beginning to walk away from the place all of those that worried about him were, "I should be able to find some alcohol... And where there's alcohol, there's usually people as eager for a one night stand like me! Which means I should find some dude or chick willing to help me out!"

And, so, with that thought of hope, Denmark set off to find a bar.

* * *

The men in this place were all kinds of _hot!_

Seriously, it was as if he had died and gone to sexual heaven.

He had gotten lucky when Kotetsu and Izumo had found him in the middle of the streets. He was kind of lost and all of the people around him seemed to be kind of rude because none of them stopped to help him out. And then he'd gotten even luckier when they had invited him to tag along to the bar they were going to visit.

That Genma guy just _oozed_ sexuality. Unlike Hidan, he moved in a sly kind of way that made Denmark want to get his hands on him and see just how truly flexible he could be.

And then there was the scarred Ibiki. He wasn't the usual kind of handsome. Denmark wouldn't be surprised if people thought he were ugly simply because of those awesome scars. But Denmark could see the muscles bulging beneath his trench coat and he couldn't help but wonder how amazing it would feel to have those arms wrapped around him.

And that Anko chick... Fuck... She was clearly the kind that would dominate him in the bedroom. And, while that kind of scared him, it also excited Denmark to think of how many positions she could force on him.

"And that's when we ran into him." Kotetsu smiled as he finished explaining how they had come across Denmark and brought him over with them, throwing an arm over Denmark's shoulder as he did so.

Ibiki grunted with a slight nod as he looked the blonde over, then asked, "Are you sure it was a bright idea to bring someone the Hokage wants to keep safe, Hagane?"

"No Ibiki!" Genma suddenly appeared at the table with yet another round of drinks, winking at Denmark. "You've clocked out. Now we're off the job and having fun. You can go back to being a worried shinobi during the morning. For now, though, you're supposed to have fun with friends."

Denmark smiled back at the man as he grabbed one of the shot glasses, then downed it without any hesitation. "Besides, it's not like they'll really need me for at least another few hours. They're too busy plotting on locking me up to keep me safe to find out I managed to escape their evil clutches."

Anko's large breasts suddenly pushed into his chest and his face was obscured by her own, all the while she settled the rest of her body over her lap. Kotetsu squawked out in surprise at suddenly being pushed away from his friend, then threw himself at Izumo, supposedly traumatized by his hand having touched something it never should have touched.

"Ooh, I like bad boys." The purple haired woman licked her lips seductively as she gave Denmark's body a quick once-over, wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders before nodding to herself. "Especially when they're as good looking as you."

"Anko!" Genma was suddenly beside Denmark, pushing at Anko's shoulder with a glare. "I had first dibs!"

"You snooze, you loose, senbon sucker!" The woman slapped at his hands, only to get smacked in the shoulder by him.

Denmark couldn't help but laugh at their drunken antics, clearly already having drank quite a bit before he had arrived, then placed a hand on both their shoulders before winking.

"People, people, _please_." He tutted, then smirked deviously. "I'm not above a threesome."

Both of them paused for a moment as they looked at him in surprise, then both their faces broke out into mischievous smiles that made Denmark believe he may just get his wish before the night was over.

"Anko, are you willing to share?"

"I see no problem with that, Gen-Gen."

Denmark smiled broadly at them both, nodding to himself. "You see? We solve all our problems with just a bit of conversation."

Genma's hand snaked up to the back of his neck, beginning to rub at it, all the while Anko's began to make their way below his chest. But just when Denmark was going to lean in for a kiss, he heard a sharp shout from the entrance of the bar.

And before he could really decipher what was happening, blinding white had taken over his vision. The weight of both Genma and Anko's body disappeared and they shouted out in surprise. And suddenly Denmark felt his body being whisked away from the comfortable booth he had been seated in, the cool night air crashing into him as he felt a body pulling him along.

"We're going to need to have a serious talk about who you belong to, Matthias."

The rough voice made the blonde gasp. And when he looked up, he found Hidan glaring down at him, even as he ran away from the bar he had just kidnapped him from.

"But first, I'm going to make your throat _raw_."


	8. Chapter 8

This guy was strong. Denmark _liked that_.

He was also scolding him for having gone out with dangerous bastards that could rape him, all the while insisting that Denmark was _his_ property. So he was possessive.

The blonde wasn't too sure how he felt about that just yet. Because, even though he needed to get himself some, he wasn't _completely_ stupid. And allowing a man that was already talking about him as if he were some kind of plaything to hit that may just be a step too stupid for even himself.

"Hey! I was gonna get me some!"

With a growl of frustration, Hidan kicked the door into a shady motel's room open, only to throw Denmark onto the bed without any kind of gentleness. After that, he closed the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I said we were going to fuck. And I _don't_ share."

Denmark frowned back at him, crossing his own arms, "Well I don't mind sharing as long as I'm not dating anyone. And I _clearly_ have no connection to you other than wanting to fuck you."

The white haired man cocked an eyebrow upon hearing this, even though his frown never lightened up. "You are now to be _mine_. Have I been understood? From now on until you fucking die, _no one_ will be allowed to even _touch you_. Do you understand, Matthias?"

Denmark had never been the kind of country to back down from a challenge. Especially when said challenge was issued by someone as cocky as himself; a someone that he didn’t even know. Especially when said cocky, unknown someone was talking about Denmark belonging to _him_.

If this man wanted to _own_ him, then he'd have to work for it.

"You..." The Dane breathed in sharply as he clasped his hands together, then pointed at the man with both his index fingers, "Are insane."

"Damn straight."

Both men blinked at one another for a few seconds before Hidan suddenly sprang forward, managing to trap the blonde man beneath him. And it was as Denmark's heart beat loudly in his chest that he dared look down at both of their bodies. And when he noticed something that was off about the man's feet, he couldn't help but smirk.

"Got a big mouth for a short man."

The man's glare suddenly became vicious and Denmark couldn't help but smile broadly. Then as the white haired man's face reddened, Denmark began to laugh out loud.

"Fuck! You're short!"

"I am _not_! You're just freakishly tall!"

Even with the dangerous threat that this man was (Denmark had _not_ forgotten about how he'd tried to kill him earlier), the Dane couldn't help but laugh right in his face. It wasn't even all that funny, if he was being honest. But the fact that the man was reacting so violently to this observation was just hilarious.

"Slow your roll, Shorty. You're _not_ getting your dick inside of me."

"Yes, I am." Hidan frowned down at him, moving his hands to grab Denmark's own. "And you'll fucking love it. I _promise_."

Denmark found himself frowning as the man forced his hands up and above his head. Then he began to feel pressure against his lower half as Hidan pressed his knees into it, trying his best to keep him under control.

"Oh, Hel no."

Denmark was not an exclusive top. He didn't mind being dominated and controlled. _As long_ as the person doing the dominating had proven to deserve it.

And what was the perfect way to prove that this man deserved to actually get his way with Denmark? Well, to fight him off, of course. And if the man was able to actually give Denmark some kind of difficulty (for he couldn't expect a human to beat him like a deserving country might), then Denmark would allow him to fuck him.

Besides, if the man wasn’t strong enough to surprise him, Denmark could then just have his way with him. There literally was no way for him to lose… Unless, of course, this guy had no idea how to use his dick… But if that happened, Matthias would just turn the tables on him. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

"Get off!" He growled as he tried to keep a smirk off of his face, then ripped his hands away from the man's grip.

Then he wrapped his right arm around his waist (huh, kinda narrow) and forced the man to roll over, catching him completely off guard. Then once the man lay on the shabby bed below him, Denmark smirked down at him. "Now wouldn't you much rather just lay back and let me do all the work?"

With his face still reddened, Hidan scowled and began to try and push Denmark off. But the country merely grabbed his flailing hands and held them above his head, much like Hidan had done to him.

The best part of sex was the hunting. When a consensual partner struggled, everything was as right and perfect as the world could ever get. The fire in the eyes of those that believed they could fight was intoxicating. The grappling and wrestling that was had as fists and kicks flew until someone _finally_ gave in was the foreplay Denmark loved the most.

"Matthias." Hidan growled in a tone that was full of warning, suddenly reminding the country of one of the few countries that had actually managed to dominate him.

That country would only ever use this tone whenever Denmark ended up testing his patience.

This brought a sadistic smile onto the blonde's face. "What, Hidan? Can't take someone fighting back?"

Maybe all this guy needed was to let go of the reigns for a little while... And Denmark sure wouldn't mind taking over for him.

"You stupid motherfucker!" Hidan hissed, forcing his hands out of Denmark's with a strength that actually surprised the country, "You can't start acting out just because I want to fuck you! Do _not_ make me have to find ways to restrain you!"

The man was actually making Denmark work to keep him down! And it was fun!

“Ooh! Got any handcuffs on you?” Denmark questioned playfully, leaning down to bite at his Adam’s apple, “You’d look nice in some.”

Denmark wasn’t completely sure if the red that now dominated all of his face was from anger or being flustered. But it looked _delicious_ on him. And, damn, he had never wanted a human as much as he wanted Hidan right now.

“Matthias, you are playing a dangerous game.” Hidan growled lowly, all the while Denmark busied himself licking and biting at his neck. 

He had a nice and long neck, pale like ivory and perfectly tensed like a terrified animal caught in a hunter’s sights. Denmark _loved_ this kind of neck. So nice and _perfect_ … Fuck, he _wanted_ Hidan.

Slowly, as he continued to mouth at his neck, Denmark made sure that he had both of Hidan’s wrists caught tightly within his right hand. Then he moved his left hand down the man’s body, searching over it so he could begin to map out how it felt.

Just when he managed to find one of his perky nipples, all peace and beauty in the world shattered.

“I’ll save you, Matthias!”

There was a crash as something crashed through the wall of the motel room, a surprised yelp from Hidan, and Matthias threw himself back against the bed as Hidan scurried away to collect himself.

What did a guy have to do to get laid?!

He was going to _kill_ someone if he didn’t get some.


	9. Chapter 9

Once again, for the millionth time in his country-length life, Denmark found himself getting lectured by Norge over proper conduct and utilizing the self-preservation skills their father had tried to ingrain into them from birth.

He used those skills during fights! Geez, Norge made it sound as if he  _never_  used them... He just didn't think they were actually all that necessary when dealing with  _humans._  Countries were stronger, faster, and overall less killable than humans. Why should he use the self preservation skills meant for surviving invasions to stave off a tiny  _human_?

(Denmark honestly believed he had self preservation skills and he  _chose_  to not use them. He was wrong. He did not possess them. But let him believe whatever he wants, he needs something good in his sexually frustrated life.)

"Of all of the dumb things you could have done! Blah blah blah- Denmark, you're so hot, why haven't you let me fuck you yet?!"

Denmark blinked at that, squinted his eyes at Norge to make sure he hadn't said what he had heard, and immediately regretted it.

"Are you even listening to me?" Norway hissed in that angry yet cold way only he could come up with.

Denmark blinked at him for a couple of seconds, shrugged, and asked, "But what if I used a condom? Safe sex may be boring, but it's at least safe!"

Norway glared at him in that way that he always glared at him when he prepared himself to choke Denmark with his tie. But this time, instead of getting his hands on the Dane's neck tie (which, even if he  _had_  succeeded, wouldn't have gotten him far in hurting Denmark, seeing how it was still torn in half and had not been fixed after Kotetsu had come to his rescue), he stepped away when that Kakashi jerk cleared his throat.

"If I may,"

"No."

"Fine."

Denmark pouted and crossed his arms over his chest and made a show of not wanting to listen to whatever the jerk wanted to say.

Even though it had been Finland to break through the wall of the motel as he shouted about saving him, Denmark wholly blamed his blue balls on the Kakashi bastard. So, no, he did not want to hear anything the guy had to say.

Kakashi ignored Denmark's wishes completely and instead chose to listen to Norge. "Hidan is a member of a very dangerous criminal organization we are currently working on bringing down... Having him so focused on your brother could actually be a good thing."

Denmark perked up at this, immediately agreeing. Of course it was a good thing! It meant that someone hot wanted to fuck him! And, even though he was short and, so, a perfect uke, Denmark was very capable of giving him the reigns... If, you know, Hidan proved he was strong enough to handle him. And if he wasn't, hey, everything was fine! 'Cause that ass was tappable as all hell.

"We could use him as bait to capture Hidan. They're both stupid enough- the plan would go off without a hitch. Hidan would be too focused on getting to him to question anything and Matthias would be too stupid to even remember what our plan was in the first place."

As soon as Kakashi had finished saying this, the humans in the room began to agree about the solidness of the plan. And his own  _brothers_ \- who were supposed to have his back  _no matter what_ \- looked as if they agreed with what had been said.

"I fucking hate all of you."

"Trust me, it hasn't been easy to deal with you either." The blonde with the amazing rack grouched right back, then sighed and said, "But we can't make you do anything against your will. How about you let us come up with a plan and then run it by you? Maybe you'll agree after."

Denmark highly doubted he'd like it.

_But_

If they used him as bait for Hidan... Then he'd have Hidan right in front of him... And if he played his cards right, he'd be able to run off with the human so they could finally fuck, like he'd wanted for what seemed like forever now. (It had only been a few hours... But he had an  _extremely small_  attention span.)

Denmark kept a displeased frown on his lips even as he wanted to jump up and start dancing in pure glee.

If he played his cards right and fooled these humans at  _just the right time_ , then he'd be able to finally fuck that hot yet insane human!

* * *

By the time they had come up with a plan, Denmark was too bored to properly listen. But he forced himself to actually listen to what they had to say so he could figure out the weak points in the plan so he could then exploit them.

Eventually, he came to the decision that the one weak point and one chance he'd get of fucking Hidan without anyone interrupting him would be to leave as soon as Hidan arrived... But that would mean risking getting captured by the evil humans that wanted to keep him from getting some for some reason that was well beyond him.

He nodded along to the plan as Kakashi spoke aloud, hmm'ed in thought every now and again, and finally said "Sure, I think I can do that." when the guy sounded as if he had finished explaining everything.

His brothers all shook their heads at him, most probably annoyed that he had just agreed to put their covers in jeopardy simply because he was bored, but he couldn't really care about that at the moment.

"Okay. Seeing how we all agree on what will happen between Matthias and Hidan, I say it's about time we start figuring out just how you five came here." The blonde with the amazing rack clapped her hands together after Denmark had agreed to Kakashi's plan, immediately grabbing his brothers' attention.

Denmark, in the mean time, began to wonder just how in the world he would be able to run off with Hidan in his arms if he had people chasing after him... He  _could_  run fast, there was no doubt about it... But it would be risky... He couldn't use his full speed to escape, because then his brothers would get pissed at him for having revealed the fact that he wasn't a normal human...

Maybe he could get Hidan to help him by throwing smoke bombs or something to cover their escape? He had already shown that he had them when he kidnapped Denmark in the first place...

Hmm...

Decisions, decisions.

"Are you coming, Matthias? We should get you prepared for your mission." Kotetsu suddenly chirped from somewhere in the room and Denmark immediately jumped up and ran to him to hug him tightly.

"Ko! You're alive! I've missed you, man!"

"I've missed you too, blonde guy!" Kotetsu cheered right back, all the while his boring friend just shook his head like a true Norge.

"This is a stupid plan..."

"But it's the only plan we have that might work when it comes to capturing one of the members of the Akatsuki." Kakashi bastard appeared from behind Denmark with a groan, "Unfortunately, it's the  _only_  one we have at the moment."

Denmark stuck his tongue out at the eyepatch wearing bastard, pulled himself away from Kotetsu, and smirked devilishly.

"Yeah, can you believe that? You guys need  _my_  help to catch a bad guy! Boy, if I were you I'd feel like an idiot having to ask for my help!"

"Trust me, we do."

Wait a minute...

 _Shit_. He had just insulted himself.

Denmark groaned and slapped his forehead, but soon sighed and looked at Kotetsu once more. "Okay! Where's Choppy? I ain't going in empty handed!"

"Oh, great... Another headache."

Denmark smiled broadly at this.

As long as he was pissing off Kakashi bastard, he didn't care about anything else.

**Please review and tell me what you thought of this!**


End file.
